Vows

Marriage vows I understand. Just because you have a relationship with someone and love someone doesn't mean there should be no rules or established promises. With marriage vows you're promising you will be with someone forever, you will stand by them no matter what happens, through anything, you will be there for them.

Wouldn't it be great if everyone significant in your life took similar vows? Parents for instance. Yes, they are your family and there is an unspoken commandment that they will always be there. But we all know how often this is not true.

I recently went to visit a friend's home that I had never been to. Like my mother, a former real estate agent, I love looking at homes and seeing how they reflect the people who live in them. And this home, was clearly full of love. Looking around at all of the kid's pictures on the walls and their various awards displayed with pride, one could clearly see that these were involved and loving parents. It gave me a pang just thinking of the plain white walls of my father's own home. Later as I listened to these parents talk about their kids, even if it was just lamenting on one's head being in the clouds, I wondered what my father would say about me, and I dearly wished he knew when my own head was in the clouds or when I'm upset....or happy for that matter.

There is no doubt I grew up with lots and lots of love. After my mom passed, this love was revealed to me even more. My sister became my biggest hero, someone to look up to, and someone who has indeed been there for me no matter what. I'm almost certain that at some point when I wasn't paying attention she must have taken some vow to God, because she is truly incredible. Additionally, a family friend became a sort of surrogate mother, taking on responsibilities that she had no obligation to take on. My grandparents have been there for us since our loss, giving a silent support that one could feel if not nessacarily hear flat out. And my father, in his own awkward ways, loves me too.

However the lines of communication between us are not always clear. I have my secrets and he has his too I'm sure. We only say the things we think are acceptable for the other to hear. Surface level conversations that avoid any possible hurt about the things that have happened. And these surface level conversations lead me to question, What if parents had to take certain vows to their children? Or vice versa? It'd be difficult, yes. But sometimes you need a push to do those things that are most difficult...and I know we are both still waiting for that push.