Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

(Photo courtesy of blissfullydomestic.com)

Neil Sedaka had it right; breaking up is hard to do. Whether you’re the dump-er or the dump-ee, hurt is bound to follow.

The Dump-er

Although it may seem like the easier position of the two, no one likes hurting people (at least if you’re a good person you don’t).

I recently read an article on collegecandy.com about the etiquette of breaking up. Miss Manners offered these tips:

-Break up face to face

-Avoid using clichés

-Don’t say, “I love you” unless you actually mean it

-Don’t hook up/get caught with another guy too soon

Her overall rule, though, and the most important: Be Respectful.

No matter what this guy has done to you, leave with the upper hand. Be the classy mature woman you would want to be remembered as.

My own tip for breaking up is to wait out your decision for a bit. In the days following a break-up, you may desperately miss that person. After being with them for so long, you may come to realize how much time you spent with them and may no longer know how to fill it. And in today’s world, grabbing your cell phone, or communicating via Facebook with your ex is all too easy...don’t! While you may miss them for now, wait at least two weeks before taking any action. That way you can decide if you really miss them as a person, or if you just miss companionship in general.

The Dump-ee

My hard and fast rule for breaking up: You get two days to wallow, two weeks to be sad, and then go on with your life as usual. If he broke up with you, he obviously couldn’t see all the wonderful things you had to offer, or perhaps you just weren’t compatible. Move on!

Romanceforeveryone.com gives their tips on moving on:

-Figure out who is in your support network

-Remove reminders of the relationship

-Minimize contact with your ex

-Don’t start dating immediately

-Hang out with your single friends

My number one pet peeve about people who have just broken up is reading all about it on Facebook or Twitter. Don’t feel the need to update everyone on your friends list about your feelings via status updates!

No matter what, remember things happen for a reason. Dating is all trial and error, and eventually, things will work out for the best.

Thinking Outside the Dating Box

I was a high school cliché, a cheerleader dating the all-American football player. But at a high school of 400 kids, almost every guy played football. Even the theater guys played football. Never once would I say I had a “type.” I dated bad boys, class clowns, guys who could sing and guys who could shoot a bow and arrow.

But after coming to college, I realized a lot of girls do seem to date the same type of guys, each one almost a paper-doll cutout of the next. I learned a new vocabulary word when my friend got called a “jersey-chaser” because she had a thing for athletes. I also have a friend who only seems to be attracted to guys of one fraternity. So what does that make her, a “letter-chaser”? There are also those almost incestuous groups that continuously hook up with different people from their clique of friends or people on their dorm floor (floor-cest).

So is it good to have a type, to know what you want and to go for it? Or, does it rule out people that could potentially be a perfect fit? I tend to agree with the latter for one reason: picky eaters. I hated eating anything green when I was little. Corn and carrots were fine, but a green bean was repulsive. A few years down the line, and I actually find myself craving fresh salads and broccoli after one too many Spike’s burritos.

Either way, vegetables or guys, you don’t know what you like until you try out a variety of types. Carrot after carrot can be great, but you may be missing out on a really tasty cucumber.

Not to mention, most of us are in our early 20s, the age where we have no clue what we want. I can barely pick out what skirt to wear each day, let alone what I want out of a relationship. We all know at least one person that has changed their major about eight times. I think it’s safe to say our “types” will change as time goes on. If I end up 40 and single, a Samantha-type girl from “Sex and the City,” then maybe I will consider narrowing down my interests to a “type.”

Next weekend when you’re hanging out at the same frat house as every other weekend, try thinking more about that cute non-greek guy. Maybe that guy you see hanging out in FAC all the time can make you laugh harder than anyone else on the field. Make yourself a vegetable medley and discover what else is out there.

http://www.timesdelphic.com/2010/10/03/thinking-outside-the-dating-box

GaGa a Gimmick

Last week I had my first article published in the school newspaper. I decided this year to do an opinion's column, except I only remembered this at 2 AM the day of my noon deadline. So sitting in front of a blank screen, I tried desperately to come up with an opinion on something, anything. All of a sudden my friend said, "Everyone has an opinion about Lady GaGa, write about her."

The finished product:

(My column picture!)

Fishnet tights, metallic platforms and pointy shoulder pads finished off my friends’ Friday night outfits. Climbing into a cab, they should have been going to an all night dance party, but really they were just sick.

Not stay at home with the stomach flu sick or 104-degree fever sick; they caught the Gaga fever, and it’s a hard one to shake.

From her days at Tisch School of the Arts in New York in 2003 to releasing her first album in 2008, Lady Gaga has been nothing but weird, and it’s just continued from there. This woman has sold over 15 million albums worldwide by talking about someone’s “Poker Face.” Gaga also sings about “Liking it Rough” and taking off “Our Fancy Pants.” But it’s more than just crude lyrics that have inspired Lady Gaga fans to show up in droves at her concerts.

Lady Gaga’s personality is just as eccentric as her lyrics. Bringing Kermit the Frog as her date to the 2009 Video Music Awards, Gaga made another one of her famously confusing public appearances.

Even when heading to the supermarket, the singer goes out in full costume and makeup. Clearly, she is not one to push that celebrities are real people, too.

Personally, I don’t understand the hype. The costumes and the stunts all seem to be just a ruse to get famous quick and to make people talk, even if it isn’t always positive things being said. However, I have to give it to Gaga, she doesn’t beat around the bush about her desire for fame, naming her first two albums “The Fame” and “Fame Monster.”

She’s even using her fame status to preach abstinence to her young fans. Handing out condoms at all her shows, Gaga told The Huffington Post about her celibacy, and her desire for her fans to hold off on sex and “get to know people.” Sounds pretty hypocritical to me, coming from a woman who sings about “disco sticks.”

What if all of our favorite celebrities survived on gimmicks alone? When I hear Lady Gaga’s name, her singing voice isn’t exactly the first thing on my mind. Whatever happened to the sophistication and culture of the performing arts? What once used to be a nation’s refined taste has now shifted unto gyrating divas like Gaga.

If we want to continue seeing talented people become icons let’s ditch the gimmicks and the pointy shoulder pads, and rely on our art.

Surprisingly, I've gotten quite a bit of email response from this piece, something I didn't even think was worth publishing. So surprise me again! Let me know if you have any opinions.

You Know You have one too...

Every girl has one-the playlist they listen to when some guy is being unbearably idiotic.....so here's mine (for now):

Hot'N'Cold-Katy Perry

Leave the Pieces-The Wreckers

Call Me When You're Sober-Evanescence

Need You Now-Lady Antebellum

Feed Your Ego-Angel Taylor

Shut Up and Kiss Me-Orianthi

Round and Round-Selena Gomez & The Scene

Love the Way You Lie-Eminem ft. Rihanna

Hot Mess-Ashley Tisdale

(No More) What Ifs-Natasha Bedingfield

I Just Want Your Kiss Boy-Kate Nash

The Nicest Thing-Kate Nash

Shit Song-Kate Nash

Living Proof-The Downtown Fiction

Beauty in Walking Away-Marie Digby

Realize-Colbie Cailait

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Beauty in Imperfection

I'm one of those people who could sit in a mall and people watch for hours-partly because I love looking at clothing and what people are wearing, but also because it amazes me how just two people can have thousands of physical differences. What I really find interesting to look at are people's "imperfections". Tyra Banks says it best on America's Next Top Model every season, it's those imperfections that make someone different and beautiful. Taking this into consideration, I realized that those are also the things I most like people complimenting me on as well. Any guy can give me a compliment and I'll brush it off as either-

A) He just picked something random to compliment because he knows it's the right thing to do.

B) He's looking for a compliment back to give him a little ego boost (the worst kind)

or

C) He's just looking to get in my pants (Okay I lied, that's the worst kind of compliment)

But when a guy compliments something subtle like the freckles on the back of my shoulders, or comments on an interesting birthmark I have, that's when I know that-

A) This guy's really been paying attention to every little bit of me

B) He's not superficial

and/or

C) He wants to get to know me even better, enough to know more quirks and little facts that no one else knows.

So in honor of accepting that differences make people beautiful, I decided to make a list of things that make me different and may someday make someone else people watching, look twice.

1) My hair is always a mess, no matter what I do to it. Luckily, I've learned to just go with it.

2) I have a long nose with a big 'ol British bump, but it is the same as my mother's which makes me feel fortunate.

3) I use purple eyeliner instead of black, because I don't like my eyes looking too dark.

4) I pretty much always wear either skirts or dresses. I hate the feeling of pants and I especially hate the feeling of jeans on my body.

5) I may not have a ton of upper body strength but I have some strong legs thanks to 16 years of ballet.

6) Lifeguarding every day of summer gives me a deep tan, but I lose it in about two days if I'm not in the sun.

7) I don't have too many freckles but I am covered in moles, moles that scare the crap out of me thanks to all the safe sun movements I read about in magazines

8)I have four birthmarks: one that looks like the Redwing Shoe Co. logo, one shaped like Hawaii, one that looks just like a bruise, and a normal spotted one

9) My nails are always short, I cannot stand having long nails!

10) I have pretty long eyelashes but I will never touch a lash-curler, they look like torture devices to me!

11) I have a booty, nuff said.

Even though I have not always appreciated the things I listed, I am starting too. Maybe that's just a part of growing up, learning to live with your imperfections, but I think it's more than that. I'm not just learning to live with them, but starting to like them. Gone are the days when I wanted to be just like everyone else.

Owl City Music Review

I've had no inspiration to write in this blog lately. Not even any sound advice about starting off a new school year in the right way has come into my head....So instead of posting a brand new entry I am "going green" and recycling an old article I found. The following is the first article I ever had published, a Q & A with Andrew de Torres, the lead singer of The Scene Aesthetic, that I wrote for a music review. Enjoy!

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The Scene Aesthetic opened the Oct. 8th Owl City show at People's Court with the chill acoustic tracks they are known for. The indie band sang deep, rhythmic lyrics, which, paired with the acoustic guitar and harmonious back-up vocals, gave the band's performance a personal and subdued touch. DrakeMag caught up with Andrew De Torres, the 24-year-old vocalist and guitarist of TSA.

DrakeMag: What did you think of the drive to Iowa?

Andrew De Torres: Oh, it was beautiful! Not a ton around-a lot of farms, and those big windmill things.

DM: Have you lived in Seattle your whole life?

ADT: I moved to Seattle when I was about eight or nine. I actually was born in San Juan, Puerto Rico, and I lived there until I moved.

DM: How long have you and your bandmate, Eric Bowley, been together?

ADT: We've been playing together for about four and a half years. It's kind of weird though, because he was gone two of those years on a mission trip in Argentina. So technically the band has been together two and a half years.

DM: How did the two of you meet?

ADT: It was kind of random. I'm in another band called Danger Radio. Eric's cousin used to come and watch us play all the time. He randomly brought Eric out, and we became friends and went to a Christmas party together. Eric was driving me home and his car broke down. We ended up just singing Hanson until the car started again. I was like, "Oh, you can sing. Let's write this song together." So, we started playing together.

DM: How'd you come up with the name The Scene Aesthetic?

ADT: I was looking for a name for Danger Radio, because we didn't really have one yet. During my senior year of high school I wrote down a ton of names that I just thought sounded cool. And, weirdly enough, when we had to choose a name for The Scene Aesthetic, that was one of the only ones I could remember. I was like, "Hey what do you think of this name?" and he was like, "Yeah I like it!" It's been with us ever since. But you know what? I mean in theory, it's probably an awful name. Not many people can spell 'aesthetic', let alone say it. But I don't know, everyone just calls us TSA, so I guess that kind of works out.

DM: What would you do if you weren't teaching

music?

ADT: I would teach kindergarten. I love kids! I think that they're honest and amazing. I tell my mom that all the time. I'm like, "Mom, just wait. When I go back to school, if that ever happens, I'm going to be teaching kindergarten." She thinks I'm crazy.

DM: Do you have any goals for The Scene Aesthetic?

ADT: Yeah! I mean absolutely! We just got back from recording our brand new full-length album that's way overdue. We're hoping to release it early next year. It turned out amazing. We had really talented people play on it. Three out of the five people also played for John Mayer, so getting to play with these people...it was like my heart just stopped and melted and broke into a million pieces. So, I mean, we'll just release it and see how it goes. It's a little bit different, but hopefully kids will like it.

DM: What's the title of that album?

ADT: It's untitled right now. It's a couple months away, so it's going to take some thorough thinking.

DM: Are there any other bands that you draw influence from when you're writing your songs?

ADT: I'm a huge, huge Death Cab for Cutie fan. I think Ben Gibbard is one of the most amazing songwriters of our era. I don't think I've heard anyone for a while that can paint such a good picture. I feel like when I'm listening to his lyrics, I can see exactly what he experienced in that moment when he wrote it. I love that! Plus, he's got the most amazing wife ever, Zooey Deschanel. I mean, that's a catch!

Direct link to this page: http://orgs.l3.drake.edu/drake-mag/Music/Scene-Aesthetic.html

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Owl City

On Oct. 8, Owl city made music-lovers of all ages flock to Des Moines for a night of soulful emo-pop. The concert sold out and had to change location from The House of Bricks to People's Court, a larger venue, after only the first week of ticket sales. Fans were lined up outside and down the street two hours before the doors opened. A few ticketless hopefuls came to the concert, but were turned away, as People's Court was already filled to capacity.

Owl City was upbeat and energetic. The band consisted of several instrumentalists-a violin player, a cello player, a drummer, a keyboardist, and even someone playing the maracas. The band did a great job of pumping up the crowd and including them in the show.

Concert Footage

Check out footage from the Oct. 8 concert here:

http://orgs.l3.drake.edu/drake-mag/MediaSection/Scene-Aesthetic-Concert-Video.html

Pretty Little Liars

Aside from the crazy summer nights with my friends from high school, aside from sweet summertime romances and outdoor dates, aside from soaking my hair in my friend's chlorine-filled pool...one of my favorite activities this summer has occurred every Tuesday night.

Okay I'm talking about a TV show. Sometimes after I've worked a ten hour day in the sun with screaming kids, the prospect of vegging out in my air conditioned house in front of the TV sounds just as exciting as a night out.

The show that has captured my attention this summer? Pretty Little Liars

Despite the fact that it's on ABC Family, Pretty Little Liars has all the intrigue and drama of a more mature show like Desperate Housewives. The show follows four girls whose missing friend of three years has finally been found, dead. Their dead friend, Allison, is the only one that knew all the secrets the girls would never tell anyone else. Now someone (possibly Allison) is sending the girls messages threatening to expose their secrets.

I enjoy a good scandal and all, but what I really love about the show is the clothes. Each girl has a really individualized style, which for a fashion junkie like me is really entertaining to see each week. And of course, the sexy male cast on the show doesn't hurt.

Scandal, fashion, and eye candy. My Tuesday nights sound a lot more exciting now, don't they?